ICSF Quotes List 2005

The ICSF Quotes List contains perfectly innocent things said by people in the library. These are from 2005 or thereabouts.

Vicky: It's the little things in life that give me pleasure.

Cristina: Let's see how low my price can get.
Ben: There's Mellon in everyone.

Alex: Ian has a surplus nut.

Ben: Ah, yes, the Wrist-Master 2000.

Mark: Sliced bread is the best thing since inbred.

Baz: Okay, but Ben doesn't have a trench I can fly down.

Kath: We need more inbreeding.

Simon: I am not a zombie.

Ernst: Pull it out and let us have a look.

Baz: I can probably last for a couple of days, though I wouldn't particularly want to.

Baz: That's a point, where did my nuts go?

Phil: My overly extended silly.

Phil: I'm speeding away in the rear!

Steve: A decompressed penis is no fun for anyone.

Phil: Damn you Ben and your massive mound!

Ben: He's a boy they look like girls.

Ben: Physics were different in the 1990s.

Alex: You get a cursed thingy.
Ben: But she doesn't have a thingy.

Ian: My genitals exploded.

Owlbeard the Black: Women play boys in pantomimes. They remind us of boys.
Ernst: Yes. That's why we sleep with women.

Mark: I want a man, but I can't get one.

Malc: The Milky Bar Kid wasn't strong or tough enough for me!

Simon: The Balrog was hard, but I was great!

Baz: He opened himself up to it.

Ben: Gimli seems to have this strange ability, he only gets hard when there's elves around!

Mark: There has to be a rule that the winner gets poked...

Alex: If he had a 5¼" floppy, that would be cool.

Simon: Hyenas are not the biggest flaw in the D20 system.

Tim: That's not a bad looking cyclops.

Adam (to Ernst): You fuck animals.
Ernst (to Adam): You fuck French people.

(Tiny) Tom: I walk into the library, I blow someone.

Steve: Baz, I need you shaved.

 Kath: Kangaroos can keep it up for hours and hours. Where "it" is defined as bouncing.

Robbie: I think Ben's meat beats all of ours.

Alex: MAGE should not stand for Mobile Ambulatory Gun Emplacement!

Steve: Gaffa tape is my sticky lord.

Cristina: Spanish has no word for "Lemming".
Editor's not: the word is unclear. It seems most likely to be lemming, but I read it originally as "lemon".his was slightly funnier)

Smithers: Erotic ... arsehole?
Vicky: No, I said neurotic.
Smithers: Oh.

Smithers: I bought Photoshop - I'm law-abiding.

Anon: Monkeys? We don't need no steenking monkeys.

Ernst: Valiant wasn't good enough to be considered bad.

Dave (Clements): I really like the vampire episode in Buffy.

Kath: If Ian had longer hair he'd be tossing it over his shoulder.

Robbie: The power of the 10ft air & concrete firewall.
(NB: that was even *more* unclear)

Steve: Thankfully, Chutney is viscous.

Steve: One of my opp... players, not opponents at all...

Alex: Steve, at some point you will stab yourself in the balls and I will not be held responsible.

Ernst: One does not simply walk into Birmingham.

Dave: Oh no, I've got Jesus all over me now!

Dave: I wish I could have Jayne's mum!

Alex: Dude, I want to diffract Jesus.
Mark: Get in line.
(NB: proof of the diffractability of Jesus - Jesus is both god and man at the same time. This is like the wave-particle duality. Therefore you can diffract Jesus)

Mark (to Gwen): Where's your sense of ... meat?

Ian: Sometimes its better to light yourself than curse the darkness.

Mark: Aaargh! My sperm...!
(NB: I know leaving the context in is considered to spoil it, but this was in response to a scene in Flash Gordon, where someone's concealed weapon was vaporised through their clothing. NB2: Note to self: What sounds perfectly fine at midnight sounds bad in the cold cold light of day.)

Cristina: It was about this big [holds hands about a foot apart] both inside and out
(Referring to the rip in one of the library beanbags, actually)

Dave: Are you sure you're not a statistical aberration.

Alex: Ben is three times better than Jesus!
(because he was resurrected faster, and I have to put *this* comment in, because I've had to tell three people why, and had to ask myself)

Ed: We should start another religion.
Baz: But, we've already got, like, six.

Ben: I can't do it with a laptop in my lap.

Vicky: Girls get off a lot easier.

Phil: Jesus, Ben, my head is big, but yours is just unnatural.

Peter: I'm right into squid porn.

Ben: Ed made a good suggestion
(It may not be a pithy quote, but it is worthy of commemoration.  However, reality is scabbing over the rent in space-time Ed's suggestion caused, and I cannot remember *what* Ed's good suggestion was)

Malc: Vegetarians are a food group!

Kath: Gotta catch 'em all!

Back to Quotes index (What, you want more?)