The Waking Edge - 1989
Cthulhu Lies Under the Ocean - Simon Spero
(page 10/10)


Cthulhu Lies Under the Ocean

Simon Spero


(Editor's hint: Try this little gem to the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over....)

Cthulhu lies under the ocean
Cthulhu lies under the sea
Cthulhu lies under the ocean
Don't bring back Cthulhu for me!

There's something alive in my toilet
All loathsome and slimy and green
I've tried forty pints of Domestos
But the Thing is still bothering me!

Chorus:
Send back, send back
Oh, send back that Old One for me
Send hack, send back
,Oh send him back home to Ry'leh

It's got so I can't eat a pizza
I tremble and fall to my knees
'Cos last time I got served a Shoggoth
And the slices were nearly from me!

I thought I was just drinking mere lager
Have I just drunk 10 pints of Space Mead?
The braccian-faced barman's a Deep One
He's spiked all my booze with a-ceeed

Cthulhu lies under the ocean
Cthulhu lies under the sea
But the worst are his servant's devotions
The cacophonous chants of Kylie!

My God! What horrors?
la la Hastu....