The Edge - 1990/91
The Video - Paul Davison
(page 2/9)

The Video

One Tuesday lunchtime the ICSF committee were sitting around listlessly as is their wont, when Steve entered, carrying a television under one arm and a video recorder under the other. Kate sat quietly in the corner.

"Something's wrong" he exclaimed with his usual harassed expression that says "Oh no! I've got so much work to do and no time to do it in."

"The Student Worker Genghis Left Rabid Soc has borrowed the old video recorder. We've got a new one but there's no instruction manual!" A slight gasp ran around the seated members, apart from Tom who emitted an evil chuckle from beneath his mass of hair. Everyone thought that this was because he knew how to work the video but in fact it was because he was wearing his leather "I've got a big motorbike" trousers. Kate sat quietly in the corner.

The video recorder was placed on the cupboard and plugged in (Steve could just about handle this level of technology ) from where it proceeded to emit little flashes of green light. Everyone sat around and watched it.

Suddenly Alex jumped to his feet and exclaimed: "Of course, it's easy! It's got a computer inside it. I can work anything with a computer inside it." But unfortunately he couldn't reach the controls so his plan was foiled. Kate sat quietly in the corner.

Rebecca mumbled something in a strange northern dialect about not caring anyway since no-one was coming to Picocon and how disgusting the level of apathy on the planet was these days. Everyone ignored her as usual. Tom thought about making a sexist comment so that he would feel he was doing something useful, but then he saw the look in Rebecca's eye and decided to annoy Genevieve instead.

Genevieve retaliated by a comment which she probably understood but which was, tragically lost on the rest of the committee. Kate sat quietly in the corner..

Nick brought a spark of hope to the proceedings by suggesting that, since the video was provided by the Union, it probably didn't work properly anyway, so why don't we ail read a book instead have you read this book it's brilliant and we've got several others by him as well and... He drawled on, becoming progressively more and more ignored.

Steve poked at a hole in the front of the video recorder with a cassette containing episodes two, four and seven of "Twin Peaks" which he had been saving for a rainy day. The video swallowed the cassette and made grinding noises, but then stopped and looked back at Steve, stubbornly. Kate sat quietly in the corner.

Stuart started a vehement protest at the choice of programme and an argument started in one corner between Stuart and Matt as to who killed somebody or other and why they did it.

Steve was feeling useless again by now, so he stopped admiring the aerodynamic qualities of the machine and started insulting the SCC.

At this point Dan stirred, emitting a sound not entirely unlike a millionaire spilling his loose change on the pavement, and emerged from the darkness of the corner into which he blended so beautifully. But he had no useful suggestion to make so he jangled back again. Somebody noticed that Guy was present and registered slight surprise. Guy sounded half-baked due to his Birmingham accent and the fact that he is, and so he didn't dare speak.

Then, dynamically, Cosmic bounded in, hurdling the step into the library, and scuttled across the floor. "Great!", he exclaimed, and pressed the button marked "Medium transport/feedback."

The video whirred into life and started to play an advert followed by an episode of "The Magic Roundabout" which Steve had accidentally recorded instead of "Twin Peaks" because he couldn't operate his own video either.

The library cleared, as members dispersed to lectures, apart from Paul who hadn't turned up in the first place, being engaged with a pint in the Union bar in a vain attempt to drown his sorrows at the amount of material he hadn't got for a fanzine.

Paul Davison

29 March - 1 April 1991. GoH Robert Holdstock, (in Glasgow)
Contact Speculation, 35 Buller rd, London, N17 9BH
 ha ! Amanda, you should have got some sort of copy to us 
 and Illumination would have an ad here,
(Info from Small Mammall, Feb 1991, thanks.)