2015 Fresher's Trip



Destination: North Wales (the hut)
Author: Ksenia
Members (comment with Nicknames): Ally Cott, Ben Pheifer, Kenneth Tan, Miranda Birt, Suzie Iednarova, Sophia Hyer, Patrick Sterling, Alex Robinson, Robert Macrae, Helen Cinnamond, Will Eldred, Millie Tsang, Noah Smith, Para Natarajan, Nick Kay, Jake Reynolds, Rory Fyffe, Yuri Merla, Andrew Pearcy, Alexander Kent, Fintan O’Connor, Malcolm Perry, Sarah Woolley, Mark Wardle, Mo “still not a driver” Unmann, Ksenia Solovieva
Standard start with superhero-resembling poses atop a minibus, because there is no mundane way to get 12 kayaks on a rack. I don’t know how to describe a long bus journey, other than with the confession that I now know what the worst radio stations of London sound like. The hut was reached in the traditional way.
The hut is cool. It’s a hut and it’s cold, so it’s cool. The evening consisted of the intellectually fulfilling creation of architecture on the ceiling beams using the many cans of *hot chocolate* we emptied. The human to human-sleeping-space ratio may have seemed questionable, but no orgies occurred (to my knowledge), so it couldn’t have been too bad. Or we were all too *chocolatey warm* to care.
I woke up to people following the smell of food like zombies, so thought I’d join their ranks. We packed ourselves and drove to a good bank of The Conwy, arriving around 12 (no idea if this is true). There was totally not a man who shouted at Mo and we definitely didn’t ignore him and get on in the wrong place anyway. Why would we be such beasts?
If that river was a person, at least at such a water level, it would be the kind that throws rocks at you, whips you with twigs and then laughs at you, so similar to me. I think I acquired the main message of the day, which was to love the rocks and shun the trees, which seemed counterintuitive until you did it wrong and realised why. The most memorable section was one that most the groups didn’t run, since no one really knew what it entailed. We happened to end up with a fellow fresher going down it accidently. Basically she checked it out for us and emerged semi-alive, so we thought it would be fine. At take out, our group and Team Redbeard were the only ones not to run the second half, which was apparently harder, but I really wouldn’t know. This mildly sucked, since we were only late because we had to wait for our leader to do the shuttle. (No, I’m not complaining (yes, I am (a little)))
By the time we had all gotten changed and were hurling boats around, the darkness had encompassed us and I learnt through trial and error how to pack the boats on the minibus. The evening was a blur of chilli, cheese and *hot chocolate*. Being students of such a wondrous university, we once again needed to fulfil our intellectual needs and achieved a state of mental bliss by climbing a ladder in the safest possible manner.
I feel that a morning mission of some kind may have occurred the next morning, but I was busy being unconscious wedged between two people, whose identities are not entirely clear to me. The packing was naturally *incredibly* organised and we were all ready in *minutes*. Around this time I found that ‘paddling the D’ wasn’t a euphemism and the river just happened to be called The Dee. Silly me.
This one was honestly brilliant, at least to a wee little fresher like yours truly. There were two features which I found awesome, probably because of lack of experience, but also because they were DAMN FUN. So I ran them both twice. The first time down Serpent’s tail, someone’s boat got wedged into a rock, so I got the joy of waiting in an eddy. The second time down Town Falls, I ended up stuck and spinning on ‘the rock’, as in ‘see that rock? Do not go near it’ and mysteriously ended up slightly upside down. Having initially failed miserably to roll or at least breathe in while my face had the chance, I emerged producing a prolonged Scottish grunt and gleaming with the sparkly joy of not dying.
Food happened and it tasted like the sweet tears of orphans. We got back, reluctantly unloaded our shit and went on with our lives. Weeks later, I bullshat this extract.